I am catholic but my fiance is agnostic and does not want a catholic wedding. Any ideas?
I need some ideas of what to do for the actual wedding ceremony. We do not want a Catholic wedding, but need some ideas for what to do at the wedding and who to have marry us.
As a Catholic person, you CANNOT be married by a Justice of the Peace. That’s only a civil marriage. Catholics consider Holy Matrimony to be a Sacrament, and you can’t get a sacrament from a civil official.
If your fiance is truly an agnostic (a seeker who believes that things about God cannot be known with certainty), there should be no problem having a Catholic wedding. It would only be if your fiance was an ATHEIST (somebody who doesn’t believe in God) =or= if your fiance was anti-Catholic that a Catholic wedding would be an issue.
Is your finance an atheist? Then you have a lot bigger problem than where to marry. Have you even thought about how you as a person who believes in God would have to compromise throughout your entire life living with a person who thinks you are a fool for believing in God? What about parenting? What about your religious beliefs about birth control contrasting with an atheist’s beliefs that anything goes?
Is your fiance anti-Catholic? Again, you have a lot bigger problem than just where to marry. How can it be true love if your fiance hates your faith and is refusing to let you practice it from day one of your marriage?
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August 19 2009 07:27 am | Catholic
Mrs♥B2b on 19 Aug 2009 at 12:36 pm #
Have a justice of the peace marry you. You can get married in a park or a hotel, anywhere really. The JP will perform the ceremony however you want, with as much or as little religion you want.
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kiki2009 on 19 Aug 2009 at 1:16 pm #
you could have a civil ceremony and have a registrar marry you, either in a registry office or ina hotel/other venue.
there are plenty of ideas if you are not religious(or trying to avoid it)
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Sapphirebullet on 19 Aug 2009 at 1:38 pm #
You can opt out of a religious wedding and go for a civil service. This can be done by a justice of the peace. Be aware, your wedding will not be recognized by the Catholic church. Give this careful thought before you make any decisions.
You can do just about anything you want with a civil ceremony. You still exchange vows and rings. You have all of the freedom without any religious restrictions.
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Soon to be Mrs. M on 19 Aug 2009 at 2:05 pm #
Wow how are you going to work that one out? Faith is important in marriage. I could not marry an atheist or an agnostic. How will you raise your children? That’s something you might want to figure out before you marry.
A JP can marry you.
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Roman Catholic since birth. Fiance is Methodist and joining the Catholic church.
Lina on 19 Aug 2009 at 2:26 pm #
im an atheist. i want to get married on the beach, or somewhere outdoors. i would prefer to have some one i love, or at least know do the ceramony. its a great way to include a friend relative, etc who would not other wise be included in the ceramony.
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Lee B on 19 Aug 2009 at 3:10 pm #
Vegas baby
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lalala on 19 Aug 2009 at 3:16 pm #
You can get married by a justice of the peace anywhere. My husband and I are both Catholic but not super religious so we had a JP wedding at our reception site with all our family and friends present. It is just like a "traditional" wedding but not religious/in a church.
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Elizabeth S on 19 Aug 2009 at 3:53 pm #
How are you going to handle Christmas, Easter and Communion if he doesn’t want a Christian wedding…. just saying.
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Heather on 19 Aug 2009 at 4:07 pm #
You can have a justice of the peace marry you. This way you can get married almost anywhere (courthouse, hotel, park, etc.) and incorporate as much or as little religion as you are both comfortable with.
You could also have a blessing done by a priest at a later time so that the Catholic church will consider you married (as a Catholic I’m sure you know that unless a priest marries you, the Catholic church does not consider you married so you shouldn’t be taking communion until you have a blessing done). It’s not a big thing with all your guests so maybe your fiance wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable with that.
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My thoughts on 19 Aug 2009 at 4:57 pm #
Get a justice of the peace, or whatever they are called in your jurisdiction, and have a non-denominational wedding.
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sparki777 on 19 Aug 2009 at 5:07 pm #
As a Catholic person, you CANNOT be married by a Justice of the Peace. That’s only a civil marriage. Catholics consider Holy Matrimony to be a Sacrament, and you can’t get a sacrament from a civil official.
If your fiance is truly an agnostic (a seeker who believes that things about God cannot be known with certainty), there should be no problem having a Catholic wedding. It would only be if your fiance was an ATHEIST (somebody who doesn’t believe in God) =or= if your fiance was anti-Catholic that a Catholic wedding would be an issue.
Is your finance an atheist? Then you have a lot bigger problem than where to marry. Have you even thought about how you as a person who believes in God would have to compromise throughout your entire life living with a person who thinks you are a fool for believing in God? What about parenting? What about your religious beliefs about birth control contrasting with an atheist’s beliefs that anything goes?
Is your fiance anti-Catholic? Again, you have a lot bigger problem than just where to marry. How can it be true love if your fiance hates your faith and is refusing to let you practice it from day one of your marriage?
References :
Danielle B on 19 Aug 2009 at 5:42 pm #
A justice of the peace (like an Elvis impersinator) will marry anyone. But, as Heather said, you should be aware that the Catholic Church does not recognize this as a marriage. A marriage is only recognized if it is celebrated ‘in the Church’ – by a priest and after being approved by your parish. So, in the eyes of the Church, you would be no more married then than you are right now – and hence, ‘living in sin’ and all that entails. So, that’s your decision, though if you take your faith seriously that’s something to think about.
If you choose to be married in the Church, you will have to contact the parish. Your fiance will not have to become Catholic, but you will have to agree to raise your children Catholic, to the best of your ability. But, again, if you take your faith seriously this shouldn’t be a problem.
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